You helped me find my voice and make the strongest and most authentic admission case possible. I have very fond memories of my college application process — and that is due in no small measure to your indispensable support and guidance.

As you can see, your suggestions have been gratefully incorporated! Thank heaven you caught a couple of details that I said would never slide by me. I missed a grammar doozy, and missed passive voice usage.

Some students in my class who had higher grades and better scores than me kept saying, “I don’t get it. How did you get in, not us?” What I didn’t say, but could have, is that I had a secret weapon: your creativity, insight and knowledge of the admissions process. I think that’s what made my application stand out from other people’s.

I think the new version is great. It definitely ‘sells’ myself more than the previous one.

I know exactly why you wanted him to write this one. This is my favorite essay of his now. This essay shows who my son is.